20 Signs of Unspoken Mutual Attraction
You know when you are attracted to someone, and of course, you want to be with them. However, it is really difficult to know how to act when you are not sure of how the other person feels about you.
You could simply walk up to your crush and nicely ask if they want to go on a date with you, but the fear of rejection is not the only impediment here. You also stand the risk of offending them…yes, some people take offense when they’re asked on a date by someone they don’t like. So the safest thing to do is to find out if they feel the same way about you without asking directly.
Look out for the 20 signs of unspoken mutual attraction listed below, if you can tick up to 15 of them, it means that a special person likes you too!
- You’re both nervous around each other
Even if the mouth does, the body never lies. When people are close to someone they’re attracted to, they’re under some kind of pressure to appear good enough for the other person, and they constantly question if they are not messing things up. That’s why you’re going to stutter when talking to your crush even if you’re a confident person by nature.
So, if you notice that you’re both nervous around one another, it’s a good sign of mutual attraction. Be happy!
- Frequent body contact
This doesn’t mean your crush will start touching your entire body as soon as they see you. It is more of an unconscious act most people carry out without even noticing, but it is also one of the ultimate signs of unspoken mutual attraction.
If you notice that they hit your chest, kick your feet, tap your shoulders, hold your hand, grab your arm, or do any other friendly form of bodily contact with you every time you’re together, it means your crush can no longer hide their affection for you!
- Prolonged eye contact
There is hardly any love song that does not have “when you look into my eyes” in the lyrics. The eyes are the windows of the soul and passion is written all over it when people catch feelings.
If your crush likes to maintain eye contact with you, it is not an ordinary gesture of friendship, they are attracted to you. If you have any doubts, take time to observe if this is a regular occurrence. If it is…smile! Your crush feels the same way about you.
- They use a unique voice when speaking to you
Have you noticed how people automatically sound different when talking to babies? They unconsciously have a nicer, cuter and younger tone of speaking right?
The same thing happens when you’re having a conversation with a loved one at the early stage of a crush. It is unconscious and automatic, the only difference is that your voice and tone will be sexier and lower, not babyish.
If your crush talks to you in this kind of tone, they are trying to be more appealing to you. If they don’t speak that way when talking to others, that’s all the confirmation you need!
When someone is into you, they ask questions and want to know more about your lifestyle, likes and dislikes, education, hobbies…everything. Some even go as far as stalking you on the internet via social media platforms, just to see what you’re doing.
If you notice that your crush seems to know a lot about you, and remembers everything you tell them about yourself, no matter how insignificant the information is, they’re interested in you. And may even start getting close to your friends just to know more about you.
- Time flies when you’re together
If you’ve ever experienced this, it will be hard not to blame your watch. Seriously. 30 minutes in class feels like a whole day but 6 hours of hanging out with someone you love feels like 10 minutes!
If it’s a phone conversation, the same thing happens, you find yourself talking for long hours without knowing it’s already dark outside. Why does this happen? Because you can’t get enough of each other’s company.
You and your crush will talk about everything except your feelings, but the fact that you want to talk for so long without taking note of time is a sign that the attraction is mutual.
- You see each other everywhere
This is so common when two people want each other but don’t have the guts to say it. You can’t ask her out on a lunch date, so you decide to eat at her favorite spot. She can’t ask you out on a date, so she frequents your favorite spot as well…even if she hates the food they serve. By default, you’ll both run into each other multiple times.
If you’ve been seeing your crush at all the places you frequent, it may not be an accident. They do it deliberately so they can see your beautiful face all the time.
- You’re always complimenting each other
There is nothing wrong in complimenting your friend’s new hairstyle or their nice shoes. It’s normal to get all those kind words when you wear a new look. But if one particular person, hopefully your crush, constantly compliments your look when you’re not wearing anything special or new, they’re indirectly saying they like you.
This is not limited to appearance alone, if you find yourself exchanging praises with your crush on how you do things like singing, talking, caring for other people, etc…it’s a sign of unspoken mutual attraction.
- Flirting and teasing
If two people always tease one another, they have a special connection. On a normal day, best friends do this a lot, so if your crush happens to be a very close friend that you’re comfortable with, teasing may not mean they’re attracted to you in a romantic way.
But if this constant teasing becomes flirtatious, they have started developing deeper feelings of attraction towards you.
- You smile a lot at each other
When you have feelings for someone, it will make you happy, and you’ll be smiling a lot for no real reason. When you’re alone and think of your crush, you smile. The same thing happens when you see them and talk to them, you can’t help it.
If the feeling is mutual, your crush will also be unable to hide their smiles when they see you.
- They understand your silence
When you’re with people, it is normal to talk and understand each other. But if you’re with your crush and you don’t have to talk much before you’re understood, it’s a good sign of deep connection.
Simply put, you can both sit down together and be happy, even without saying anything to each other. It’s a strong sign of unspoken mutual attraction between two people and a good indicator that your future relationship will be full of passion.
- You easily affect each other’s moods
You’re usually happy any time you talk to your crush, but that happiness can turn to sadness if your crush is feeling unhappy. When you like someone, you can’t just ignore the fact that they’re in pain. It will hurt you too.
So if you see your crush’s smile disappear because of something unpleasant that you’re going through, it means they care about you. This is one of the purest signs of true love.
- They’re always there for you
This is similar to how your mood affects someone who has feelings for you, but it also involves them taking it a step further by doing things to help you out.
They may be kind to other people, but if this person you like always shows up at every important occasion in your life to cheer you up and show their support, it shows they care deeply for you.
- They get jealous when you give attention to someone else
Most people flirt with others just to see if the person they really want will get jealous. This goes a long way to show you how jealousy is closely related to romantic attraction.
Even if you’re not flirting with someone else, if you give another person any form of special attention, the person who wants you will get jealous because they want that attention you’re giving someone else.
If your crush complains about you getting too close to someone else, it’s a sign that they want to be with you.
- Your mutual friends say it
Even if you are both too scared to say anything about your attraction due to uncertainty, your friends will not keep quiet.
If your friends keep telling you that your crush is also into you, it’s usually true. They can ask questions you can’t ask and see things you can’t see because you’re too shy. If you have a lot of mutual friends and they all encourage you to start dating already, it means they’ve seen all the signs of mutual attraction between you and your crush.
- They keep updating their appearance for you
If your crush keeps changing make-up patterns, making new hairstyles, wearing more attractive clothes, and generally looking hotter each time you see her, it’s a sign she wants you to notice her and fall for her.
To know if your crush’s sexy updates are truly for you, be vocal about how you like your future partner to look. You can say it when you’re both with mutual friends or post it on social media so it doesn’t come out directly. If she starts complying with those things you said you like, you got yourself a date!
- You both blush a lot
When you’re in the presence of someone you love, blushing is natural and automatic. There is no particular reason for it, you just do it without any trigger from your loved one.
Related: 15 Signs He Will Never Come Back
You may have been so busy trying to cover your red cheeks that you didn’t realize your crush was also blushing because of you. If they blush as much as you do, you’re giving them butterflies, and they really feel the same way about you.
- They find your jokes funny
Most people are lucky enough to be dating people who are gifted with a great sense of humor, but some people are just funnier than others. If you are not one of the funny ones, but your crush keeps laughing heartily at any joke you make, it’s a sign that they’re attracted to you.
If you are the type who hardly makes jokes, they will laugh at the things you find funny.
Having the same sense of humour is something that develops with mutual attraction. If you see your crush laughing at the same things as you do, love is in the air.
- They invite you to important events
Of course, it’s not a date, but your crush will want you to have more involvement in their business, so they will invite you to come and watch their next game or something similar.
If your crush starts doing this, it is not because they want a crowd at their event, but because they are trying to get closer to you. If you’re still confused, ask their friends if it is common for them to invite other people the way they invite you to events. If it’s something done specially for you, it’s a sign you’re getting the green light.
- You feel the chemistry
It is always there when you’re with the person you love, and it is never one-sided. So if you feel a sense of familiarity when you’re having butterflies, it’s because of the mutual attraction.
The tension is usually just sexual, but sometimes it can even get more emotional than mere physical attraction. When you’re looking at each other, you may not be saying anything, but you’re communicating well and can feel the energy from one another.
If you have seen all these signs, make the first move by asking for a date. Your crush is waiting for you to make the first move.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs) on signs of unspoken mutual attraction
What is unspoken attraction?
When you feel a deep attraction to somebody, you want to tell them about it, but if you say nothing and keep it to yourself, that’s what is termed unspoken attraction.
The thing about being attracted to someone and not talking about it is that you never know how they will feel if you tell them. Sounds hard, but a lot of people pick that confusion over confessing their feelings.
Reasons why people don’t talk about their feelings include:
- The fear of rejection
People who don’t act on their feelings prefer that the attraction remains unspoken because they don’t know how to continue living normally if they get turned down by the one they desire. While others find it easy and are even used to getting rejected, it could take a mental toll on others, especially if they get turned down for flimsy reasons.
- The fear of commitment
Many committed relationships begin with attraction. People who are afraid of dedicating their life to just one romantic partner will not be so open to telling someone they have deep feelings for them. They’d rather practice unspoken attraction and hope it fades away so they don’t feel vulnerable.
- The person of interest is already taken
There is really no point of telling someone you’re deeply attracted to them if they already have a happy relationship. Even if it’s mutual, due to moral reasons, many just walk away from the whole situation. Some go as far as getting therapy to move on from finding love in a hopeless place.
- The attraction is not romantic
What most people confuse as attraction, could just be mere connection. Things can get really messy if you vocally confess having a platonic connection with someone who is romantically attracted to you. They’ll not understand the difference and start expecting you to get romantic with them, causing the person to endure unrequited love.
If you’re not sure whether it’s attraction or connection, it’s good to just enjoy the person’s friendship and not speak of any form of attraction whatsoever.
- The fear of offending someone you love
When you break out of unspoken attraction, things can never go back to the way they were before you told your crush you’re attracted to them.
Maybe they can easily go back to being just friends, but you will be the one to endure rejection and stand the risk of losing the entire friendship if you don’t know how to handle it well.
If you keep talking about your feelings, you’ll offend them and look like a pest. At this point, there will be so much confusion in your head and you’ll need a lot of help to move on with your life.
Looking at all this, one would really get discouraged to talk about their feelings for someone else. It is better for the love to not be acted upon if your crush is clearly not interested. This is why many people choose to leave their unspoken attraction the way it is.
Can you tell if someone is attracted to you?
Yes, you will feel the chemistry between the both of you. When someone is attracted to you, they will also show it through the things they say and do. If you see them often, you can take note of how they act around you and compare it with how they act around other people.
The reasons why most people find it hard to tell if someone is attracted to them include:
- Self doubt
If you already feel insecure about your appearance, you’ll keep doubting if you’re good enough to attract the person you like. Even if they show signs, you won’t see it as someone being attracted to you, and all the signs could elude you. But if you always remember that you’re beautiful and amazing, You will easily notice when someone is attracted to you. See yourself as a catch!
- Other people are attracted to the same person
It is often said that when someone is attracted to you, everyone can see it except you. This is not always true, but if it is true in your case, it could be because of other people’s attention.
If you want someone and you know two or three people that also have an interest in your crush, you will find it hard to know if they are attracted to you or not.
If you’re the jealous type, you won’t even notice any moves your crush makes to show they’re attracted to you because you’d have written off any chance of a date.
If you work on your self-confidence and study the 20 signs of unspoken mutual attraction, you will have all the motivation you need to go after what you want when you confirm they want to be with you as well.
When you feel attracted to someone, do they feel it too?
Things are a lot easier in movies where people get attracted to each other and start living happily ever after. But in real life, it’s more complicated. When you feel attracted to someone, it doesn’t automatically mean they will feel it too.
Unless you already have a defined friendship with the person, then they will notice a change in your behavior towards them when you start getting attracted, but even at that, they won’t feel anything, as your behavior could easily change for any reason.
If your crush doesn’t know a lot about unspoken attraction, your feelings would go unnoticed unless you start making actual moves to get their attention.
In cases where the attraction is mutual, it is easier for them to feel your own love immediately, because it’s already there and though they may not know it, they’ve been waiting for the day you’ll show the slightest sign of attraction towards them.
There is also chemistry. If you get attracted to someone who is already catching feelings for you, they will feel it almost immediately. The chemistry hardly lies and unspoken mutual attraction is fueled by a characteristic familiarity between two people.