How to Ghost Someone? Ways of Ghosting Someone
If you are tired of a relationship and want to end it without confrontation, then ghosting is the best option. You must be interested in how to ghost someone and what are the effects of the ghosting?
Ghosting is a modern way of breaking up, and people think it protects you from the breakup pain; however, there is nothing true in it.
Read on to know the different ways of ghosting someone, tips to ghost someone nicely, and the effects on the person being ghosted and the ghoster. Moreover, many other queries are also subjected here
Let us start!
What Is Ghosting?
It is a new term in colloquial dating and refers to cutting off with someone abruptly, and you do not have to give any explanation or excuses.
It does not matter how often the ghosting person tries to be in contact with you; you have to remain silent. This is why the term is referred to as ghosting, as you see a person vanish in the air as if it were a ghost.
9 Ways of Ghosting Someone
There are different methods of ghosting, and all of them are discussed below so you can try the one which you think is most suitable to your conditions and you think will work the best for you
- The cut of all the Contact
The basic definition of ghosting is not to contact them at all. If a person is trying to be in contact with you through messages, emails and calls, do not respond to him.
Eventually, he will get the hint that you do not want to be in contact, and he will stop texting and calling you. It works best for the person with whom you do not have plans.
However, if you plan with that person, inform him that you are canceling all plans. Cutting off the contact is the way of ghosting people you do not want to see in your life, and you are cutting off permanently.
- Expect some Backlash for your Ghosting
When you ghost someone, you may have to hear some harsh words. It is not easy to ignore someone’s texts and calls. The person will be confused and may guess different things are stopping you from responding.
If you ghost someone who has been your friend for a long time, you both have a good relationship. It is difficult to ghost such a person as he will call and text you repeatedly.
Moreover, he will be hurt and sad very much over your ghosting. However, if you are ghosting, a person who came in contact with you just a few times ago will not be upset by your ghosting, and he may understand that you do not want to be in contact with him early.
- Send one Last Message to Ghost Nicely
If you do not want to ignore someone and end the relationship on good terms, send him a last goodbye message. This method is known as caspering or a good way of ghosting.
Open the text box to thank the person for their time and inform them about your breaking off. It is a very decent way as there will be no long conservation and arguments.
Above all, you are giving the other person a hint toward moving ahead in their life. You can write the following things in the final bye message
“It was the wonderful experience of my life to meet you, but I think we cannot move forward. Best of luck.”
“I enjoyed hanging with you very much, but I don’t want to be with you in the long run. I hope life will bring the best for both of us.”
If there is something in your mind that you want to add, you must write it in the message.
- Wait a Long Time before Replying to the Ghost Slowly
You do not have enough guts to send the final message at once, or you cannot ghost someone suddenly, then choose the slow ghosting method.
Do not reply to their text for a long time; if another person responds to your message after a few minutes, let him wait for 3 hours for a reply. With time the person will understand that you are no longer interested in them.
It is the best method to ghost people who do not have a sensitive time plan with you. However, this is a good option if you plan to meet somewhere. It would help if you thought about it.
Every relationship is different, and you cannot define a ghosting deadline for every relation. However, it has been seen that people who do not wait for 3 days before replying to ghost people successfully.
- Makeup Excuses to Ghost over a Long Period
You cannot ignore a person’s calls and texts and go for a reply within seconds; then, you should make excuses to avoid meeting him.
After a few days, you will have to make enough excuses; the other person will be able to judge that you do not want to hang out with him.
Soon he will stop reaching you and let you live peacefully. You can type the following messages
“Sorry, I do not think I will have free time to hang out.”
“My schedule is packed, and I cannot come to meet you any time soon.”
You know your friends better; thus, if you think these excuses will not work, you must fabricate other reasons for ghosting them.
- Unfollow them on Social Media
The biggest gesture you can give to someone that you are not interested in talking to him is to unfollow them on social media accounts, for example, Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.
It will be enough for him to understand that he should stay away from you. Moreover, if they text you on online apps, you can block them.
- Block their Number if you Need to
You have tried all the methods mentioned above to ghost a person, but he is very persistent and stubborn and still trying to contact you, then block his number.
You will never receive his calls and messages again. You will feel calm as you do not have to worry about making excuses to avoid meeting and talking to him.
Similarly, we get distracted by the messages and sometimes start thinking if I am doing right or not. It is better to block the number to free yourself from these situations.
- Never Contact that Person again
You have been ghosting a person for a long time, but out of nowhere, without any specific reason, you text him. It is known as zombie texting. It will put the other person to confusion.
He will start thinking that you were actually busy and now you want to be in contact with him.
However, if you are feeling bad after ghosting someone and now you want to develop a friendly relationship with that person again, you can send him an apology message.
But it depends on the other person whether he wants to be in contact with you or not. Wait for his response, and please do not make him frustrated by texting repeatedly.
Tips to Ghost someone Nicely
Must keep these tips in your mind if you want to ghost someone in a good way
- Do It Sooner Rather Than Later
If you are tired of someone and are not interested in him, ghost him. You may start relaying to his messages and cancel all plans of meetups; he will guess that you are ghosting him.
However, be consistent with your thoughts. If you sometimes text him immediately and often make him wait long, will confuse him.
So do a favor for him, end the relationship at once, and remove all his confusion. By doing so, you will him gesture that is better for both of you to move on as soon as possible.
If you lead a meaningless relationship for a long time, but if the other person gets serious, the situation will be very difficult for him, and you may end up hurting him. So do it sooner rather than later.
- Choose the Best Form of Communication
Choose the best form of communication for ending the relationship on good terms. For example, if you have been in a relationship for a few months, it is better to make a phone call for a breakup.
However, if it has been only a few days in a relationship, you may end it by just sending a message or email. In short, if the other person is serious and interested, the formal method of semi-ghosting should be used.
- Do it at an appropriate, respectful time
Please find the best time for this heavy conservation as it will be difficult for the other person. If an important occasion is about to come in his life or he is going for an interview, do not talk to him about this.
As it will disturb him very much, and he may not be able to perform well in the interview. It will be your last favor to him to wait for the appropriate time to break up so his other life activities are not disturbed by the breakup.
- Keep It Short & Sweet
The fun fact about semi-ghosting is that when you are not breaking up with anyone as if you were not in a relationship. Thus all you can do for the other person is wish him well.
You can tell him, “I enjoyed spending time with you, but I do not see us together in the future; I wish you nothing but the best.”
You don’t need to give a long explanation, but you can choose the words compassionately and try to be as nice as possible.
The rejection phase can be very difficult as rejection makes people insecure and drains their confidence. So it would help if you mentioned some of his traits you liked when dating, as it may help him move on confidently and without doubting himself.
For example, you can say that you are very funny and you know how to bring a smile to a girl’s face. Goulet says. “It reminds the person that they have good qualities to offer and can help them bounce back more easily.”
- Practice ahead of time
You should practice ahead of time as you will be talking to him, you will be high on emotions and may forget some points, and conservation can be incomplete.
Thus it is better to write down all the points and practice them before speaking to your ex. It will be beneficial for both of you.
- Use “I” Statements
Whatever explanation you give, use I in all your statements to protect the other person from self-doubts. For example, instead of saying, “You are feeling burdensome to me, and everything is too fast for me, so I want to end this relationship,” you should say, “I am feeling burdensome, and everything is too fast for me, and I do not want to be in this relationship anymore.”
- Offer Direct but Kind Feedback
Once you have ended the relationship with someone, it is necessary to give him feedback, but it can be a sign of closure if he asks you what is bothering you or what is wrong.
It would help if you tactfully answer these questions so he can improve himself for the next relationship. Try your best, so the other person does not feel bad for himself.
- Accept that it will hurt—and that’s OK
Naturally, you feel sad after breaking up with someone, and it will be good for you if you acknowledge it and are prepared for it. People ghost to avoid pain by adopting this method.
However, it breaks up hearts even if you ghost, and it has been seen that breaking up instantly can minimize the overall pain.
It is not your responsibility to fix the other person after a breakup, but you should take care of yourself even if you have started the breakup, as it can be anxious for you.
- Establish Your Boundaries
The kindest way of ghosting is ghosting fully. Do not give the other person hopes again by messaging or meeting. Once decide what you want and if you have decided to end the relationship, stick to it.
Never message the person again as this attitude can hurt him very much. No need to explain to him after ghosting; you do not have to feel guilty for it.
After some time, you both will understand the situation and move on, and this is only possible by completely cutting off all means of communication.
7 Reasons it is Perfectly Acceptable to Ghost Someone?
It isn’t easy to be ghosted by someone, especially for someone who does not deserve ghosting. However, you must ghost a person if he is not good enough for you.
According to relationship expert, if you see the following things in your partner, you should show him cold shoulders
- Inconsistent or Unreliable Communication
It is acceptable to ghost a person who has never taken communication seriously in a relationship. You both talk to each other and plan for the meeting, but at the time of the session, you receive a weird message full of excuses.
It is a red flag that another person is not interested in you. He wants to spend time with you for pleasure. Sooner or later, he will leave you.
Certified life coach Tori Autumn said
“Resist the urge to continue a meaningless conservation.”
Save your time and energy and ghost such a person.
- Disregard for Consent and Personal Safety
Consent is very important in every relationship; it does not matter what the matter is or the situation. Your partner should never make you feel unsafe in any circumstances.
However, if you feel even a bit threatened by him or he sends you threats, it is better to leave such a person if you want to save yourself.
According to personal coach and dating expert Michelle Baxo
“If someone seems aggressive in any way, be it through pressuring you, being inappropriately argumentative, or is hot-tempered and easily triggered, retreat and delete,”
If you ghost someone because you do not feel safe with him, it is a form of self-love and healthy boundaries. Thus it would help if you always chose to ghost over confrontation.
In case you confront an abusive person will cause nothing good but bad. If you think weak people ghost and I am strong, so I should face, then you’re mistaken.
Ghosting an abusive person is a smart way of protecting yourself from different problems.
- When They Can’t Take a Hint
When you have given a person many hints that you do not want to be in a relationship with him, he is ready to accept anything and still approaches you through text and calls.
Then the only way left to stay from him is ghosting. Start ghosting him, and he will understand it’s all over from your side within a few days. Ignoring messages and texts is not working, so block his number and block from all social media accounts.
- Possible Catfishing
If the person you are dating online do not wants to do a video call and cancels all plan of the meeting by making lame excuses and giving you weird reasons for asking for money, he is a catfish,
Moreover, such people often upload different pictures on their social media accounts to make it real, but they do it all at once. You can also identify if a person is a catfish by his hobbies as such people have many hobbies and passions.
However, normal people only enlist 1-2 hobbies. You should get rid of such a person as soon as possible, and it’s the best way if a ghost. Cut off communication with him and protect yourself from him.
- Signs of Lying, Cheating, or Dishonesty
If you observe that someone speaks a lie often and has always been dishonest with you, ghost him. Moreover, if you do open and honest conservation with such people, they make you think you are the problem.
If you feel manipulated into things that do not seem right, it is better to ghost.
According to Manly
“A manipulative person will generally not respond well to heart-to-heart talks about what you are experiencing; a conversation with a manipulator will often leave you confused and second-guessing yourself. As such, ghosting a manipulator can be a very smart tactic.”
- General Unease
Sometimes you do not feel easy with someone; however, you do not have a genuine reason. It is ok; everyone should listen to their gut feelings if dating someone makes them uncomfortable.
Moreover, you do not need to be harsh on yourself and look for an explanation for why you do not want to be with someone. Just listen to your heart and cut off all ways of communication with such people and move on with someone who makes you feel comfortable and your heart is satisfied with him.
- If You’re Feeling Used
If someone messages you only when they need something from you, it is a red sign that you do not matter to him, and he is just using you, so ghost him.
Justin Lavelle, the Chief Communications Officer at People Looker, a U.S. background check database.
“If you have asked someone to stop contacting you and they refuse to respect that, ghost them.”
Such people do not deserve your time and love, and you should save the screenshot of his messages as he can harass you for taking further favors from you.
Effects of Being Ghosting
When a person is ghosted, he passes through mental trauma, and it can be a long-term sorrow for them. It has been seen that often people become victims of depression and have other self-doubts.
- It Makes you Doubt your Self-Worth
The person feels very concerned, self-conscious, and confused about himself. Moreover, he starts questioning his worth which leaves him with many questions unanswered.
Ghosting feels like you have been wasted, and no one cares about you. It changes a person who is very confident in himself and believes in his abilities into someone who has devaluated himself to zero and thinks he has no worth or self-esteem.
- Triggers Negative Feelings
Ghosting gives rise to the flow of negative feelings in the person being ghosted, and he thinks negatively about himself.
“We all have doubts and vulnerabilities, and being ghosted can bring up all those insecurities,” Post says.
Suppose a person stops talking to you, and you start thinking that person has stopped talking to you because you are not good enough and need to improve yourself.
However, there can be a lot of other reasons, but as ghosting ends the relationship without clearing doubts thus, many people blame themselves
They ask themselves different questions, for example, what did I do wrong? What is bad in me? Do I need to change myself?
Effects of Ghosting Someone else
The person who ghosts someone has to bear the after-effects of the ghosting, and the person who ghosts also has to go through the detrimental effects.
- Feeling Emotionally Stunted
Such people are always stunned, live in an immature relationships, and cannot develop long-lasting, deep, and loving relationships.
- Lack of Empathy and Understanding
When we ghost someone, we do not see other people’s reactions. However, you can lie to yourself that the person has not been affected very much.
The feeling of pain makes us human, and you need to be with the person you spend time with in both his good and bad time. However, if you cannot do anything but a ghost, you must question yourself, “Should I be in a relationship?
Why Do Some People Choose to Ghost?
These are the two reasons why people ghost, and often it is the combination of both.
- It is easy
Some people think that is easier to end a relationship than having a heart-to-heart conservation and telling someone that you are not interested in him and do not want to be in a relationship with him.
The person who is ghosting is worried about hurting the feelings of others, and he is afraid of confrontation. Thus he starts giving this hint so you can understand and move on.
- Option overload and fatigue
When a person is dating online, he has many options, and there is no limitation. Moreover, people are involved with many people online. Thus, they stop responding to the old ghost whenever they find someone betters.
How did the term Ghosting become Popular?
This term became popular just a few days ago because online dating has made it easy for people to ghost anytime.
Many people are in a relationship, and most ghost sooner or later. This is why the term is becoming more popular with time.
Working Through Grief After Being Ghosted
Alternatives to Ghosting Someone
Ghosting is the shortest and most quick way of ending a relationship. However, you should go for better options and treat the other person as you want to be treated.
You must write a short and sweet message to the person, tell him about his good qualities, and explain why you do not want to be in a relationship with that person anymore.
You will have to face a severe reaction from him, and you may get hurt, but ending the relationship with a discussion on good terms rather than ghosting is better.
You can say
“Hi, it was cool to be with you, but I want to take a break and do not see my future with you; however, you are a perfect man. I do not want to waste your time and wish you the best of luck.”
Is Ghosting Someone Ever OK?
It is considered a rude way of ending the relationship, especially if you both have been together for years and have had a good time.
However, the relationship has never been so good, and you expect that there will be an exchange of more harsh words during the discussion. It is better to ghost.
Ghosting best suits the situation where you find that the person is married, in a relationship, involved in illegal acts, or has toxic traits.
If your gut feelings are saying that person is not good for you, do not suppress them and ghost the person without any guilt.
In essence, ghosting is cutting all ways of communication with someone at once, and do not bother yourself to explain. Ghosting is increasing daily and has gained fame in this era of online dating.
There are different ways of ghosting someone. For example, you can ignore his messages, calls, text for hours, reply to him late, cancel all plans to meet up and block him on all social media apps and his number.
It is considered that ghosting is an easy way of ending the relationship. However, it harms both the person being ghosted and the ghoster.
A ghosted person loses his self-esteem and has negative thoughts; however, he overcomes all this after a while. On the other hand, ghost fails to develop a good and strong relationship. Moreover, such people often end up being ghosted by someone else.
Try to end the relationship nicely and always find the best time, place, and mode of communication. Similarly, you should practice beforehand and try your best not to leave the other person in doubt.
However, ghosting is never appreciated as it is rude to end the relationship. If you have any confusion, feel free to ask in the comment section below.
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