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Why Is The No Contact Rule So Effective

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Why Is The No Contact Rule So Effective

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

The reasons why the no contact rule turns out to be effective is numerous. As a matter of fact, this coins down to a lot of factors. This practice can have an effect on the dumper and make the other person more happy with themselves. This rule is very applicable in relationships, especially when it comes to getting our exes back. The dumper in this context refers to the person who ended the relationship. I bet this is not the first time you are coming across this rule, and by now, you probably know that the ‘no contact’ does not work spontaneously. It doesn’t work overnight, doesn’t take a week, two weeks or even a month. It takes a long time for its effectiveness to heighten and like the name suggests, you are staying out of the reach of your partner. More like ‘ no single contact’. This guide will take the form that assumes you are the dumpee, and that ex of yours is the dumper.

I’m taking the time to clarify this so you don’t think your ex will come running back to you if you follow the 30 day no contact rule. For your information, over 70 percent of the time, that does not happen, and in the event that your ex comes back by chance, he or she will eventually leave again. This is the usual pattern for the 30 day no contact rule. This sudden intro might begin to increase your doubts and heighten your fear but don’t fret. This development usually happens only when the dumper didn’t process the breakup completely or if the dumper sees that the other person (the dumpee) is the same old person they used to know. So what I’m trying to say in essence is that, if the practice of the no contact rule leads to a complete and abrupt end for the relationship, it would be for the best.

Are you wondering how effective the no contact rule is?

You could be wondering how effective the no contact rule can possibly be, well you’d be shocked to discover the wealth of power it yields. Don’t beat yourself for reading this article, it’s only natural that people want to covet the best results with their exes, and it is totally understandable. Researches conducted over the years reveals that over 89 percent of dumpees will hear from their exes sooner or later. A good percentage of them receive a call from their ex partners within the first 5 months after the breakup. This is a confirmation of the notion that the contact happens after the dumper has been given the freedom to explore the world around him or her and get required space to process the breakup. In essence, the major reason why the no contact rule is very effective against the dumper is the fact that it is the more powerful tool at your disposal.

Having understood this, you should know that manipulating your ex into loving is not the best. Infact, it is not an option. The best tool that can work for you is the no contact rule. But let me remind you, the no contact rule does not work every single time, but it works most of the time. It could also take a pretty long time to take effect so I can’t give you an exact time frame for how long it will really take. Like there is no stipulated time for how long it will take an ex to regret his or her decision, there’s also no preset time duration for the effect of the no contact rule to kick in. The odds are that you won’t really care about your runaway ex anymore by the time he or she comes back. A lot of the time, dumper exes don’t come back for the dumpee. Instead, they come back for themselves and their personal interests when something isn’t making them very happy. It is during this time that they think about the good old days and get washed with the waves of nostalgia from the bittersweet relationship experiences you both shared.

Indefinite no contact rule is the best for breakups

The no contact rule which is more or less ‘indefinite’ is your best medicine from a breakup especially a very painful and unsettling one. This practice works every single time, at least over 90 percent of the time. All you need to do is follow its rules judiciously. Some of these rules include; no reading on old texts, no calling, no texting, no stalking, no keeping of old gifts and taking away anything that will be hazardous to health and emotional well being. That includes every single mark from the past relationship. Right now, what your ex thinks about you does not matter at all, this is not the time to be overly selfless, you need to self-prioritize your needs and take a break from toxic drama.

It is during this post breakup time that you transform yourself into a person that your ex will regret dumping. And it’s not just about your ex, you are also transforming yourself into that person you want to be, that person you’d be happy you became. By doing this, you’ve become a new you with fresh thoughts and views about people, a person with a new appreciation for life and respect for overall happiness especially emotional freedom. In the event that your ex comes back one day which will certainly happen, you’d be in the right state of mind to be able to make logical decisions rather than irrational, emotional and insensible ones. You then have the power to decide whether you want this ex of yours back or move on with someone else, someone that you think deserves you and not the other way round. Your decision should be geared towards being in a relationship where you believe you and your partner deserve each other.

No contact rule: Understanding the dynamics of breakup cycle.

If you consider the dynamics of breakup as a cycle you’ll notice that your ex sits at the top and you at the bottom. When you are being forced to make positive changes directly or indirectly, for instance, through a breakup, your ex will go back to his or her normal state naturally. This state is the place of neutrality. When this ex of yours experiences a degree of the injustice you felt on the day that him or her called the relationship off, then your ex is going to fall to the bottom of the ocean and you’ll be above water. The no contact rule is more or likely the only way to explain the effect that your absence and presence has on your ex. Because of this development, some persons began to wonder why the practice of this rule is super effective. Well, that’s what I’ll be explaining all the way through, so I’ll advise that you sit tight and hold onto your seats, cause this is going to be one heck of a ride. 

  •  The No Contact Rule Portrays The Quality Of Self Respect

The ability to cultivate and develop self respect takes a great deal of time and effort. As a result, it is regarded as a skill and sometimes a trait. If a person does not respect him or herself, they don’t get respect in return. We reap what we sow, and this saying is not confined to just plants, it is applicable in all life situations. This law applies to friends, careers, family, businesses, relationships and even breakups. One of the reasons that the no contact rule is very effective coins down to the fact that it portrays to the dumper a very desirable quality of self respect and confidence that you immediately possess after the break up. That dumper will go with the belief that he or she was the obstruction to the glow in your life and that you are better off without their existence. This single belief is strong enough to hunt them down for the rest of their lives, this will make them come crawling back to you.

Cultivating this attribute is not just important for getting back at the dumper, it reflects the innate ability to believe in ones worth. This feature is something that we create for ourselves when we are pushed into annoying and unpleasant circumstances but come out of those situations more stronger and confident than we have ever been. Mind you, because this attribute is something that is really difficult to develop and cultivate, a lot of people lack it. Just picture yourself in the very popular world of people moving around the place with zero confidence and self respect. When you possess this quality within you, then you should be able to understand just how rare you have become. You will appear different, independent, unique, strong and determined, in fact the list is close to endless.

  • No Contact Rule and The Freedom Notion

Most of the time, what is the reason your ex broke up with you? If you were faithful, always on the giving end and the best you could possibly be, what then was his or her reasons for breaking up with you? I bet it won’t exceed the excuse of needing some space, or too toxic and overbearing. As a matter of fact, the generic excise for dinners is that they want a breath of fresh air from you. They’d hold their claim about wanting freedom and independence without necessarily thinking too much about it. That ex of yours believes that on the other side of the hedge, the grass is greener and the grapes are tender. It is this shallow drive to find a better life, explore horizons and self actualize that will make your ex feel great. Your ex will start to live their past breakup days in a new hope for a better and brighter future. The good freedom vibes will be temporal, trust me on this one.

Now that the dumper has gotten rid of his or her supposed burden, I bet the surroundings appear a lot greener and fresher than ever before. Now they have the freedom to spend their time wherever they want whenever they want it. They can now socialize and hang out in their favorite spots without the company of a burdensome dumpee. As a result of this false perception that is infatuated by the way, the dumper spends most of their time doing those things they couldn’t as a result of the relationship they were in. Some of these previously forbidden activities include; drinking, clubbing, chronic partying and drinking. The dumper felt restricted because of the relationship before, but now they have increased motivation and post break up happiness. Infact, the dumper is free to do whatever he or she pleases.

During this time that the dumper feels satisfied internally, the no contact rule greets you with strategy. When you contradict your ex’s strong desire for complete freedom, you are torturing them by doing so. The no contact rule is so effective because you completely leave your partner alone and let them enjoy their unrestricted access to freedom. Although the effect of the rule on your ex’s well being would not be direct, it will certainly play an indirect role in helping him or her feel emotionally unsettled. The freedom will tire the dumper out and the past memories of the moments you both shared will come pouring down on him or her. It may be hard to explain, but sooner or later to the dumper, freedom will not be the sweetest thing in existence for the first time.

Conclusion: Why is the no contact rule is so effective 

The bottom line is that, why the no contact rule is very effective in the long run is the simple fact that you are taking some alone time as a period self reflection, emotional rejuvenation and outward purification from all forms of bad energy and toxicity. In breakups, you can’t force your ex to get into the 5th stage of post breakup, but focusing on yourself is a plus for you and a minus for the dumper, mostly. Making yourself as admirable as you can is one your priorities during this period of post breakup. It is for yourself and for your ex if you want to include them in the given. But at the end of it all, happiness is what matters and when you find the one that makes you happy, you should do everything in your power to keep them.